Thought Catalog!

Random quote before I go to sleep:

"When you go on a date with someone new, or even when you’ve been in a relationship with them for a while, there are 10,000 little things that signal you whether or not a person is right for you. You don’t have to love every thing about them, but you have to latch on to something. Do you like the way they smile? How’s their taste in music? Do they excite you? Are you attracted to them even when they are doing the silliest, unsexiest of things? I dated a guy who was so sexy when he was in the kitchen cooking in his underwear with his hair all the way down, not even knowing he was being sexy to me. I snuck glances at him, thinking to myself, “Wow. I get to have that.” If you can look at your significant other after 3 weeks, 3 years or 30 years and still think, “Dang,” you know that person is right for you.

You know they’re right for you because when you look at them you smile all over. You smell them on your clothes mid-day and you get excited about seeing them again later on. You know they’re right for you because your differences make you stronger.

You know they’re right for you because they don’t make you feel judged. You can be your fullest self and experiment and try new things and they still think you’re beautiful. They think you’re beautiful when you’re sleeping and when you have snot pouring out of your nostrils. They’re right for you because they care, they show you they care, even if they aren’t the most vocal about it or say “I love you” all the time. Deep down you know they care, even when things are rough.

You can’t imagine your life without them, without their family, without sharing a bed, without hearing their news and sharing yours, without doing “your” thing."

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This is how I want to live.

This story is truly remarkable. If I knew the amount of time I had to live, I would want to live life the same way he did.

I can't help but  cry when I watch videos such as this one. But people like him remind me how I should live. He reminds me to see nothing but the good in people, and to live life to the fullest. If I could I would thank him for being so brave and courageous. Because that's one thing I admire the most, is to not fear death. It reminds me of the movie Tuck Everlasting. Not the story line, but the message of the story.

"Don't fear death. Fear the un-lived life."

There is nothing more true than that statement.  Because if I was to die tomorrow, I would die completely happy with my life.  I am so happy and love every part of my life right now.  And I think that's what Zach did.  He knew that he was going to pass away, and yet he lived as happily as he could.  And I admire that so much.

Lana Del Rey

Oh my goodness. Isn't she perfect?

On a side note, that is the color I want my hair to be. But really, look at her.  She has the most beautiful voice as well. I first heard her on the Great Gatsby soundtrack.  Then I looked up her video and noticed her wonderful hand tattoos.  And her beautiful face, and I was like that's it. I have to listen to her album.  And at first, I didn't think that I was going to like her stuff. It's like an Indie kind of feel but I really enjoy it.  

That's my favorite picture of her.  Omg she's wonderful.

I am Happy.

For some reason, any time I think about happiness I think of the Beatles song, "Happiness is a Warm Gun". 

I want to scream at the top of my lungs that I'm happy.

Because I am. Fully, blissfully happy.  I didn't think that one person could have this effect on me.  And you know what? This is my blog, I can talk about my happiness, and if you don't like it you don't have to read it. Simple as that.

Happy. Happy. Happy.

I want to take all of my energy and run and run and run.  I can't stop smiling. I can't stop singing happy tunes in my head, and I can't stop thinking about all the wonderful things that I'm happy about. Mainly Brenden.  It's a wonderful feeling, being this happy.  Sure, I'm in the "honeymoon phase" of our relationship, but honestly, I've never been in this phase this long.  I've never experienced this happiness, and my mood immediately becomes so much better as soon as I get into his proximity.  It thrills me. It thrills me that my parents adore him, and my mother said he fits into our chaotic family. It's wonderful.

Yes, he is my best friend. Yes, he is my boy friend. And yes, I've never trusted someone with so much of myself before.  And it doesn't frighten me anymore.